My dearest ...

So many thoughts of you run through my mind. The mixed emotions of my heart sweep from love and joy, to hurt and sadness. I am so confused...I just don’t know what to do. What we have together and share together makes me feel so complete but in so many ways it tears at my heart.

There have been many times when I have considered walking out of your life because of my great love for you. How can I love you as much as I do knowing that you are married to another? Yet every moment that I am away from you, I feel such emptiness in my heart. How can I ever break free?

I don’t want to lose the things we share together. I treasure our love and our dreams of sharing our lives together. Then the reality hits me. Oh how my heart cries when I realize that I can never really share my life with you. It hurts that I am not the one you wake up to in the mornings and not the one you kiss goodnight every night. It hurts that I cannot love you the way I want to.

So I go to sleep with you in my heart and tears in my eyes. Another day gone by; another day that I failed myself.

As always,