I’m scared that you’ll leave

My dearest...

I am sorry that I have hurt you. I can’t stand that I have been so insensitive to you. I love you so much that I cannot picture my world without you.

That’s the very thing that scares me. Whenever we part for the evening and we’re saying goodbye, a terrible sense of loss comes over me...as though I will never see you again. It’s the remnants of past hurts creeping back into my life. It’s at these times I do everything possible to avoid the pain, including pushing you away.

The truth is, spending time with you, talking with you, making love with you are the single greatest pleasures in my life. When I go to bed at night I close my eyes and replay our last encounter and drift off to dream of you. When I awake in the morning I wonder what you’re doing. Then the fear, once again, enters in.

My past hurts and absolute selfishness has prevented me from seeing that you are feeling hurt from my actions. Now I have finally seen the pain in your eyes. Can you ever forgive me? I need you to know that I truly love you with my whole heart.

My warmest love,

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